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February 8, 2013

Control

For some reason or another this week was a big fat lesson in control for me. I feel like God is trying to show me that I can't control anything and that He has it all but that I can trust Him through it. I'd rather He just KNOW by me saying things like "I trust you" and not have to follow it up with actions.

Silly actions.

We are still in a "no response" world on our house which has brought up things like - maybe we should live with my In Laws if our lease ends up ending (in April...2013) and we still have no answer on the house.

This is unsettling for a few reasons- the biggest one being I like my stuff, and I like my space...oh and I strangely abhor change. So basically all those things would be different. NOT BAD different- I luuuurve my in laws. But it would be different and well I like my own lil world that doesn't change ... for the exception of a winter blizzard or a blow out diaper.

I would LOVE to be all hippy-ish on this and just let things fall where they may. And now I have a KID so talk about a beautiful veil to say things like "Well I'm concerned for Lucia and how she might hate the adjustment". While kids excel at schedules- that doesn't mean her world will crumble like I'm prepared to make it sound like :)

We had a blizzardy wintery mix this week- I know... I CAUSED this from writing THIS post. But I wasn't really serious... Since when does winter listen to me? Apparently my lesson is learned. At one moment- I came to point in my commute where you can see basically about 3 miles in front of you- all big big hills. With all the ice, I was convinced my car wouldn't make it. There was way too much ice- way too much incline.

Low and behold- I was almost having a panic attack over a failure I had YET to even see. So with deep breaths- a lot of prayer- a lot of singing to distract myself - me, the babe and the car all made it through all 3 treacherous miles.

My goal next week is to let go more. While I wish NO lessons in this. I think I need to start breathing a lil more easily. Things will work out. I refuse for my family to be homeless - but we are far from that!

What are you hoping happens next week?
Anything you are hoping to release "control" of??

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