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June 10, 2012

Closure on a Sunday

Warning- this post is a lil more deep than the usual fun but it was one of those moments that I felt needed typing out...

Today, was a day I didn't prepare for.

I went to church like it was any other Sunday. But from the start, I knew something was up. Just a weird feeling- I even used my inhaler (asthmatic from birth but I maybe use it 8 times a year). I thought it was because of humidity.

The first verse goes up on the screen- Numbers 6:24: 
Lord Bless You and keep you, the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you. Lord lift up his countenance on you and give you peace.

This verse, turned into a song via Mars Hill, Grand Rapids, MI, was the only thing that could put me to sleep 7 years ago after learning a friend of mine, a spiritual mentor and father of 3, committed suicide.

7 years is a long time. I didn't realize I still had so many questions- until this morning. I think it's impossible to not wondering Why? 

Today, I was really thanking God for a fantastic guest speaker for The Chapel- he went to describe Numbers 6:24 as a blessing and even eulogy. 

You shouldn't wait until someone is dead to tell them how much they have impacted your life. 

After a 30 minute sermon, I feel like I went through that hard time in my life, so I could be an even better Mom to my daughter, Lucia. Somehow, after 7 years, that gave me closure.

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